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:iconkoratoshisfriend: More from Koratoshisfriend


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Good Words. by Evalayen

Literature by CoRkY97

Writing by LordressViper


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Submitted on
July 3, 2012
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707 bytes
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Views
428
Favourites
23 (who?)
Comments
66
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It's something we all have to face
Sometimes we face it with just a silent gaze
No emotions to be shown on our face
Feeling like things went faster than a race

It all comes to an end
It's something from which we cannot defend

Some face it with fear
Some face it with courage
But it's something that you don't have to be scared of
No matter what it is you fear

What behind you is the past
It might have gone a little too fast
But take my hand my friend
And let us walk down this road
And let us not fear
What is at the end
First of all, let me thank :iconkarvamato: for helping with this piece, she's really full of great ideas
Second of all I would like to ask all of you if you could give some feedback, it's okay if you don't but I would like it very much
Third of all thanks for reading ^^

This is a short poem about walking down the figurative road that is life and reaching the end.
I know most of you fear it, but you should welcome it. See it not as an end, see it as a new beginning

Jerrel Simons AKA :iconkoratoshisfriend:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconaraiseriameel:
AraisEriamEel Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is very nice. It's pretty deep. and makes you think about your life and what has lead you up to who you are now.
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thanks, glad you like it ^^
Reply
:iconaraiseriameel:
AraisEriamEel Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
mhm :)
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
^^
Reply
:iconfabrixio01:
fabrixio01 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012
jejeje I have PS3 too, my name is fabrixio01 :D
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh cool ^^
I put you on ma list and will add you when I get the change
What games do you play? o3o
Reply
:iconfabrixio01:
fabrixio01 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012
I have God of war 3, all Assassin's Creed, Call of Duty modern warfare, Heavy Rain, Little Big Planet
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I have AC: Revelations, Borderlands, Modern Warfare 1 and 3, Battlefield 3, Just Cause 2, Skyrim and Crysis 2
maybe we can play together some time
Reply
:iconlife-of-art:
Life-of-Art Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012
This is really good :)
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much
Reply
:iconlife-of-art:
Life-of-Art Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012
beautiful :)
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
And again thank you very much xD
Reply
:icon143peace:
143PEACE Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012  Student Writer
Feedback:
You had rhyming in there in several places and i liked that and then you would have one line that didn't. This made it hard to tell if you had a rhyme scheme you were aiming for or if you even meant to rhyme at all. Either way I liked the rhyming and I think it works really well with this piece.
Also I liked your second stanza, the couplet. In poems, personally, I like it when there are varying stanza sizes or a pattern in the stanza sizes. So I really like yours because of the varying stanza sizes as well as the content.
(grammar/typos)In your second stanza though I was wondering if the second line was supposed to be IT'S instead of IT? In the third stanza, third line, shouldn't it be OF instead of OFF?

Overall this is a wonderful piece that has a very intriguing theme that is relate-able for the reader. I enjoyed reading it and I look forward to more pieces from :iconkoratoshisfriend:
:D
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
First of all no I didn't have an actual rhyming plan when I wrote it, some lines just happened to rhyme at certain times xD
Second of all thanks for the kind words
Third of all yeah you're right I will fix that

Last, you can use my real name my friend
Reply
:icon143peace:
143PEACE Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012  Student Writer
Well i applaud the slight rhyming xD:iconclapplz:
And you are very welcome (: I will happily do that for you whenever you'd like

Okie dokie :) and you can call me by mine, which is Emilie. I don't have it posted up on here
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ah okay Emilie, first of all sorry for the late replies, but I was preoccupied with ma birthday (which was on the 9th) and thank you for the feedback ^^
Reply
:icon143peace:
143PEACE Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Student Writer
no problem!
HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!! :w00t!:
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks mate, how have you been?
Reply
:icon143peace:
143PEACE Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Student Writer
pretty good, very busy and traveling a lot. And yourself?
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
quite good, got a job, turned 16 and wrote some poems
Traveling you say? Where have you been my friend?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icon143peace:
143PEACE Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Student Writer
Wow ^^ this is really good and very well written
I love it :love:
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, can you give any feedback?
Reply
:icon143peace:
143PEACE Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012  Student Writer
I'll leave a separate feedback comment
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much, I saw it and I fixed the grammar errors you have spotted
Reply
:icon143peace:
143PEACE Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012  Student Writer
you're welcome :)
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
^^
Reply
:iconadrianosart:
AdrianosArt Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Indeed another great conversation piece. I do enjoy the message of the poem, however I feel the rhymes in some parts may take away from the message. And there are a few little grammatical errors, but those can easily be edited.

Over all, I really like the fact that you added the comfort of taking someone's hand, as we journey on through life. Accepting an end is indeed the first step to another beginning.
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The rhyming part does make it slightly easier to read and remember, plus it's more appealing to most readers of the piece. I'm sorry for the grammatical errors, I will double check those later on.

Yes, death is only the start, not the end but the beginning of a whole new chapter
Reply
:iconadrianosart:
AdrianosArt Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I suppose so, but I feel the rhymes are forced.

Indeed, with every end, a new start must come. People must embrace mystery and be willing to venture into the unknown. It's the best way to learn.
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yes that is quite possible my good friend and I couldn't agree more on the second bit
Reply
:iconadrianosart:
AdrianosArt Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Glad to hear it. =)
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Glad you always take the time to write these things
Reply
:iconadrianosart:
AdrianosArt Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Student Digital Artist
No problem =)
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Seriously thank you, you're a very inspirational person
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmebutrealized:
MebutREAlizeD Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
amazing :')
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much, I'm trying to get a better reputation so I can meet more artists who can give me feedback
Do you have any feedback on the piece?
Reply
:iconmebutrealized:
MebutREAlizeD Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh sorry :blush: Yes I can :D(though it isn't my strong suit with writing)
Well, it's really soft, and I like that. It isn't like "party hard while you can!!" but more like "just float through life dear. Then you can worry about death" I can't say much because it really made me speechless. But it did lesson my fears of death. Thanks for posting :thanks:
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much for your help :D now have a cookie from the cookie jar
Reply
:iconmebutrealized:
MebutREAlizeD Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
sounds swell :D
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
indeed and grab me a cookie while you're at it xD
Reply
:iconmebutrealized:
MebutREAlizeD Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
XD fine!
well um I can't seem to find the other cookies :D all gone :fork:
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Did ya look in the jar on top of the fridge?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconsen22:
sen22 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Can I share it on Facebook? It's really great.
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
First of all, you haz facebook? why don't ya add me while you're at it
Second of all, yeah but please leave a link to the original thing okay? It's hard for me to get views as it is >.>
Reply
:iconsen22:
sen22 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
All right. But I don't know your name on facebook. ^^'
And I had posted few journals with the comments of my facebook.
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
could ya give me a link to your profile?
I will find it then
Reply
:iconsen22:
sen22 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
okay If u don't mind I have asked people to leave comments for the poem.

[link]
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
okay I've send you a friend request okay?
Reply
:iconsen22:
sen22 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
sure.
Reply
:iconkoratoshisfriend:
Koratoshisfriend Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
^^
Reply
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